tisdag 4 november 2008

Styleish 1:10



1. Image and style shall be your primary concern. When suffering, one must
focus first on maintaining a cool, even composure, and second on
performance. Winning races is an added talent, and only counts if said
euro cyclist wins with appropriate style.

2. Training is based solely on feel, while racing is to be guided by
sensations and instinct. The Euro Cyclist will never accept tried or
tested scientific training methods.

3. You shall NEVER, under any circumstances, wear plain black spandex bibs
(shorts, regardless of colour are BANNED) or any team kit containing
non-prominent Logo's. Shorts will extend approximately 2/3rds of the way
down the upper leg and will contain a compression band at the bottom
distinct in colour. In NO CONDITION shall they extend any further!

4. Legs will be SHAVED year-round. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. Certain hair
removal creams are endorsed only on a case-by-case basis. One shall never
show up to a race (large or small) with ANY AMOUNT of stubble visible on
legs.

5. A prominent line where your kit ends and where your tan begins is
essential to your image. Artificial tanning is BANNED. The tan SHALL
reflect the level of training commitment.

6. The Socks must extend no less than 2cm below the main bulge of your
calf muscle, and shall never extend further than 1cm past the primary calf
muscle bulge. All socks SHALL BE WHITE in colour with prominent logo
placement.

7. Cycling shoes must contain at least 80% white!
The following exceptions apply…
i) Colours combinations such as world cup stripes, or Olympic gold where
title has been EARNED.
ii) Shoes which are custom-made for specific riders by companies endorsed
by this group. These shoes will be accessible to the particular cyclist
only, and shall follow the preceding rules.

8. If white cycling shoes are not available where you reside, white
booties with prominent logos shall always be worn. When booties are worn,
socks should protrude approximately 7 centimetres above the ankle, and
shall always protrude at least 1.5cm from any booties worn.

9. Your bike frame must contain 2-4 colours IN ADDITION TO WHITE. All
colours are acceptable as long as they combine tastefully. In addition to
this, wheel selection must also match frame and fork.

10. You shall race only on Bora’s or Lightweights. Fulcrum Racing One,
Corima Aero+ or Zipp (404’s or 202’s) wheelsets are considered stylish
enough to be used as training wheels ONLY. Regardless, Ceramic bearings
shall be used at all times on both training and race bikes
.

8 kommentarer:

Dan Stenqvist sa...

Så j-vla nyttig läsning detta.

Anonym sa...

Men kom ihåg Dan, samma människor tyckte att det var FEL med glipa mellan tröja och armvärmare. Vi behöver ju inte ta allt de säger bokstavligt.

schmunk sa...

Varifrån kommer dessa regler?

Anonym sa...

Ni ser. Det GÅR att läsa sig till den tysta kunskapen! Punkt #30 anser jag mycket, mycket viktig.

/Chrille

Dan Stenqvist sa...

Erik, jag älskar att spela mind games. Den enda jag har fullständigt förtroende för när det gäller stil och regler är mig själv. Det är bara att gå igenom de flesta bilder där jag är med och kolla in strumpvalet!

Blixten sa...

Jäklar alltså. Jag har inte många rätt hittills

Anonym sa...

Jag tror minsann jag har alla fel. Är man rebell då eller bara ute?

schmunk sa...

Vad säger ni... Ska vi göra en egen lista... det verkar lönlöst att följa denna.